Charles Haynes

Sexual Style Test [meme]

2007-11-29T15:45:33Z

What's your sexual style? Take the sexual style quiz for yourself!

The text is pretty accurate, but also pretty vague.

Silence = Death?

2007-06-27T06:23:19Z

At the risk of hasty over generalization, Bangalore, and apparently India in general seems very sex negative - and it's starting to get to me. Expressions of physical affection (with some susprizing exceptions) are nearly nonexistent, and public displays of affection are strongly discouraged. I want to be culturally sensitive, but I also have some fundamental beliefs about the need for positive attitudes about sex.

What to do?

Recently I spoke up in a Bangalore Metroblogs posting about prohibitions on hugging. Most of the replies were thoughtful, though many of them disagreed with me. However there was one post that was particularly rabid and intolerant:

Mr.Charles,
We dont want to learn from you, We have our own way of handling the public or social issue and not required an outsider suggestions.
Moreover i think you dont have any morality or right to critisize our policts as it is non of our business, U are here to earn your bread and butter and concentrate on that dont try to act smart.
If you are so care about society just to and suggest your people in your country.
We dont tolarate this.
Jai Hind

Bad spelling and grammar aside, it's obvious that this is from one of the rabid hindu nationalist types that inhabit the current Indian political scene. In my opinion my response "took the high ground" but I was not particularly gentle. Since then, some of my well meaning friends have cautioned me against publically baiting them. "Your address is out there" they say. It is true that at least some of these people do not hesitate to use violence against people they disagree with. In fact the neighborhood I live in is near the site of riots that occurred earlier this year in conflicts between some of these people and people in the neighborhood. (I live fairly near a mosque, many of my neighbors are muslim.)

My reply is that these people are jackbooted thugs, no different from Brownshirts, and that to be silent out of fear is to let them win. "All tyranny needs to gain a foothold is for people of good conscience to remain silent" and all that. Still, I think their concern has some basis in reality. One suggestion was to continue to speak out, but to do it more discreetly perhaps anonymously. I find that galling as well.

It has been many years since I faced violence for my political views or outspokenness. In college, I occasionally faced arrest, in the early days of the Gay Rights movement, being openly queer, marching, subjected you to jeers and taunts at least, and threats and violence on the street. I'm slightly surprised to find that my willingness to fight that hasn't gone away - but is that just some macho reaction? "You can't scare me!" "I won't back down from a fight!"

This will require some thought.

NYC

2007-05-29T22:50:20Z

Skin.
Tattoos on skin.
Professional looking asian woman, with the side of her head shaved.
Interracial couples - holding hands.
Cute plump dyke bartender - with the back or her head shaved.
Dogs on leashes - everywhere.
Cute androgynous male bartender - with a shaved head.
Skater kid boarding down the middle of the street - wearing an Amnesty International T-Shirt.
Frankly appraising looks from both sexes followed by a look in the eye and a smile or a nod.
People who look at me only because my hair is blue.
People who don't notice me.
Cute plump Jewish girls.

Bangalore Posts

2007-01-17T22:34:10Z

I'm blogging about moving to Bangalore at http://edgeplay.blogspot.com/ and those posts are open to everyone. However there are some things about moving to Bangalore that I want to post about, but more privately. In particular issues around sex, sexual politics, and sexual minorities. I'll be writing about them here, but locked. Everyone is welcome to read them, but you'll have to ask if you aren't already on my friends's list.

How to find me.

2006-11-27T18:46:06Z

dangerpudding created a nice syndicated feed for my blogger blog. It's called chaynes.

http://edgeplay.blogspot.com

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